Image by Sam Wolfe Connelly "Envy"
"Martha Graham’s advice takes this concept a step further by explaining that not only are you a bad judge of your own work, it is not your job to judge your own work. It is not your place to compare it to others."
I really like this quote, I was reading the article and it stood out to me as something that I should be more aware of , something that I should get better at understanding. Instead of getting hung up on all the critiques that I give myself, how I will never be able to paint like Nicolas Uribe, or that my color will never be as amazing Euan Uglow, I need to take a step back and stop the comparisons. I will never be able to accomplish what they have accomplished, for one they have already done it, but the second reason is that it is not my path in life or as an artist. I would much rather be an Allen TenBusschen than someone else, which is a lot tougher of a road to travel than you would think.
I have spent the last year journaling what interests me in art, what I find beautiful in others work, things that draw me into painting, and asking myself why? about everything. Trying to figure out where I fit into the history of art, what style I am searching for, where I can look to discover new ways to help me develop my technique, and throughout this all I seem to just be an amalgamation of other peoples art, which I think might me a step in the right direction, If an idea is nothing more than a new combination of 2 old things (thanks Huntsman and Grover) then perhaps a style is a combination of different pieces and style of other artists?
This quote come with a bit of baggage as well, as I start to actually go insane waiting to hear back from graduate programs and start to feel the overwhelming depression that comes along with placing too much of your personal worth on someone else's decision. Then having the crushing blow of having to open that rejection letter (which I have a stack of in a drawer, waiting to become a weirdo art project later in life) and close the door on that particular path in your imagination. I am currently struggling with this and trying to figure out what is best for me, what the next step is artistically and what is going to improve my quality of life. Isn't that what art is, a way to improve your quality of life? that might be an idea for another blog post.